He lost his daughter to childhood cancer. But his love and her legacy are stronger than ever

“I miss my daughter every day.” 

When he speaks those words, Erik Rees pauses.  He chokes up but gathers himself and continues, “but she’d be super proud.” 

In March 2011, Erik’s 11-year-old daughter Jessie was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. While undergoing grueling treatment, Jessie was empathically thinking of other children stricken with cancer, especially those who could not leave the hospital. Jessie created “Joy Jars”, which she filled with toys and gifts to support children like her, in the fight for their lives against pediatric cancer. 

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Before she passed away on January 5, 2012, Jessie stuffed 3,000 Joy Jars, which she delivered to children in their hospital rooms. 

Jessie’s motto is Never Ever Give Up (NEGU). 

Today, the Jessie Rees Foundation honors her memory and sacred mission by distributing hundreds of thousands of Joy Jars to children all over the world. 

Jessie would indeed be super proud. 

Jessie Rees never did anything to deserve the mission of fighting cancer, which was unexpectedly thrust upon her. She not only fought cancer but also connected with something larger than herself by creating a path for philanthropy.

There is arguably no greater transformational moment in a man’s life than when he becomes a father and takes on the responsibility of loving, nurturing, and caring for his child. For those of us fortunate enough to be born in the United States, that means extraordinary freedom of opportunity. Fathers want, above all else, to help their children realize their dreams. 

No father should have to bury his child. 

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I lost friends and colleagues during the decades I served at the CIA. The CIA puts stars on its Memorial Wall to commemorate our fallen officers who made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation. As tragic as their losses are, our heroes were knowingly putting themselves in harm’s way to keep our citizens safe. 

Pediatric cancer, in contrast, is so cruelly arbitrary. 

In his book, “By All Available Means: Memoirs of a Life in Intelligence, Special Operations, and Strategy,” legendary Green Beret, CIA Operations Officer, and former Under Secretary of Defense for Intelligence Michael Vickers, describes how important it is to “be able to deal with the unexpected as well as the expected.” For the U.S. military, planning is imperative, but no plan ever survives first contact with the enemy. 

Jessie Rees never did anything to deserve the mission of fighting cancer, which was unexpectedly thrust upon her. She not only fought cancer but also connected with something larger than herself by creating a path for philanthropy, which her father and countless others follow to this day.

Life is often about embracing even the most brutally unexpected. 

Cancer patients must simultaneously fight the disease and heal from the treatment. When they need a break, that’s when their friends and family step in and keep up the fight on their behalf until they are ready to fight some more. 

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Jessie Rees understood that a Joy Jar would not only brighten a child’s day but also help them maintain and build the resilience they needed to carry on. 

“A good leader should derive his or her power,” Vickers writes, “from his expertise, and by being the one his followers would select to lead them if they could choose a leader.”

Having served as a pastor for almost two decades before Jessie was diagnosed with cancer, Erik Rees has deep experience providing spiritual leadership and ministering to others, including children. But it takes an unimaginably high level of compassion and resilience for Erik Rees to dedicate his life to supporting children who are suffering from the same disease that took his daughter’s life. 

Devoted to never ever giving up Jessie’s mission, Erik Rees never wavers from his clear-eyed vision and beneficent commitment to helping the children who need it most. That’s because Erik will always be Jessie’s dad. Even after she has passed away, he’s still being a loving father to her. 

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That’s why Father’s Day matters so much.   

Today, as we fathers celebrate with homemade greeting cards and gifts, I’ll be reflecting on how Erik Rees is a paragon of fatherhood, a true role model for me and my sons. 

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